**Disclaimer: This post may not make much sense...

Can you love someone and use them at the same time?
Maybe all love is conditional anyway.
Maybe it's selfish.
And meant to serve ourselves.
After all.

I ask myself
How can my love help you?
Is it only that my love for you
is only meant to help me?
To make me feel better
Quieting my own
Insecurities.
After all.


I just finished watching Capote. I watched it a few years ago with my two best friends at the time. I didn't pay much attention to it then. It's so funny where life takes you. Never then would I have thought I would end up falling in love with one of my best friends after that. This is the friend who I always felt was using me as a professional contact to help them achieve in their career. Now, after watching the movie Capote again, it seems so much can be applied to my life; and to the one who made me watch it in the first place; the best friend.

In the film, Harper Lee asks her best friend Truman Capote if he is in love with the killer he is writing his non-fiction novel, In Cold Blood, about. He asks how he can love someone and use them at the same time. But clearly, by the end of the film you see how he did both. He used the killer as the subject of his classic book and, because of his love for him, made steps to get the killers off. At the same time, I believe that the killer was either in love with Capote as well, or at least pretending to be, in order to get off. But, in the last scene of the film, when all bets were off, when the killers had no other option but resign to the death penalty, the killer left a sign, which was a drawing he made of Capote. So, I think the killer loved Capote as well and was also using him.

Maybe, the one I loved, the one who I felt was using me, loved me as well, if only to use me. Maybe I used them as well.

So....

Can you love someone and use them at the same time...

Apparently so...?

1 comments:

I don't think you can love someone and use them @ the same time...I mean if you REALLY love them then there is NO way you could use them...I feel that love isn't based preset conditions that is based on favors and handouts...

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