Hmmm...
I just woke up from a very disturbing dream. I sure I'm like most people in that I don't usually remember my dreams. Well, I dreamt about some female friends of mine. Well, one in particular...
It started with me being called to her room in a hospital. As I approached her room, I saw her walking towards the room. The color balance of the hospital consisted of muted blues and grays. I hear someone say something about jumping out of the window. I spot my friend her walking towards her room. She avoids my eyes.
"I don't want to see you right now." She enters the room. I follow her.
"What the hell is going on?"
The next thing I remember is a panic. At some point, my female friend was apprehended in the back of the hospital trying to eat large white pills. I walk into the hospital waiting room. I recognize the faces of more female friends. Their faces very specific to me. I don't know the reason for this.
As I continue to dream, I realize that the other girls are here for the same reason.
I watch through the window to my friends room. She talks to her mother who sits at the end of the bed.
"I didn't want it."
It dawns on me. So, that's why these girls are jumping out of windows.
I wake up. I send a text message to my friend who I haven't seen or spoken to in two years.
"Are you ok?"
Hmmm...
Okay, so why am I just now learning about Leona Lewis and all of her fabulousness (and fineness)?? I've been listening to "Bleeding Love" and all 5,000 of its various remixes and I freakin love Leona now. WTF??? Have I been under a rock for the past year??? Anyway...
I'm coming down from a great weekend. Think I'll keep the details to myself for a little while, though. lol.
So, I'm thinking about going into teaching. Hopefully, if all goes well with me graduating this summer, I'll be in somebody's classroom this fall. My preference cities are NYC, Los Angeles, & Atlanta.
My best friend thinks I'm veering off of my path to be a filmmaker, by taking this detour to be an educator, but I don't think so. I'm sort of at a creative standstill right now and have been that way since leaving my internship in NYC. So, I'm game for something new. I'm in the market for inspiration for a type of screenwriting that is vastly different from the route I had been taking the past few years. So, I'm just trying to accumulate some more life experience that will hopefully lead me in the new direction that I'm so thirsty for.
Either way, it's time for me to finish undergrad and start progressing towards some sort of stable lifestyle, even if it means putting being a starving artist/filmmaker/writer on the backburner. Besides, I'm not totally abandoning my Hollywood pursuits because I've been submitting to agencies seriously for a few weeks now.
So, we'll see....
I had the strangest dream last night. Okay. Maybe it wasn't so strange after all. It was about someone who I have a love/hate relationship with. I think we'll call this person Chameleon. I think I spend the majority of my time being angry or frustrated with him, which I'm trying to stop. But it's difficult to just stop caring about someone who've you've invested so much in. Even when your mind is telling you that you should.
You know when I realistically try to imagine Chameleon and I together...like that, I do find myself becoming really disgusted. Chameleon is very promiscuous. With women. My intuition makes me think that this involves some men as well. But I digress. It is such a turnoff to me to know that your partner or potential partner has given themselves away to so many people. Especially when you know this person doesn't seem to always use protection. I know, gross, right?
Anyway, hopefully, my heart understands that it needs to catch up with the rest of me in purging this person from my psyche. I get the feeling it's getting the message...