I Don't Walk On Water...

Ok.

I'm not having a very good day. I'm tired as hell from being worked like a freakin slave at work today. In addition, I've been going back and forth between moments of extreme inspiration and creativity to bouts of pessimism and hopelessness.

I have so many things going on right now and all pertain to me trying to get my life back on track. I've been looking back analyzing my mistakes trying to figure out how someone who carefully made decisions because of the confidence I carried in my talents and my abilities has carried me to such lows. A year ago, I was comfortably working for the school district making $30,000+ a year. Not much in the grand scheme but for a college student, I was doing pretty good. I ended up walking away from that position, trying to chase my real "dream". And look at me now. Eating humble pie.

I'm not getting the type of attention from agents that I had hoped for, though it is only month two. I'm trying to stay motivated writing scripts and researching topics for my book, but in some ways I feel that I'm doing a bunch of work, meaning writing, for nothing. What happens if I never get an agent? That's the only I can get work as a writer in the TV/film industry. Hardly anybody looks at anything that lacks reputable representation. And it's so frustrating.

My best friend has been telling me that I need to be in L.A. because I can't build a network from Florida in my industry. And that is the main reason why I'm making the steps to move out West this summer. But, getting my shit together financially and educational-wise is trying. They are everyday challenges that I struggle with a great deal.

I've been feeling very good lately and productive, so tonight is a rare cloudy night.

I'm in need of something, I just don't quite know what it is...