I'm liking my internship but I'm feeling kind of.......blah. My friend
was telling me to show more initiative, to make sure I'm never idle. I
thought of some ways I can step it up...I know I'm doing very well
because the people that I work with tell me so, but I wanna stand
out...plus I need a job, lol!


I've been meaning to blog for the past few days and I'm finally taking the time today. So, the update on L.A. is...........I love it! At this point anyway. I've been meeting some great people and they've been showing me the ropes, taking me out and whatnot. I went clubbing at Circus the other night and that was a great experience. I went with some new friends and they showed me a great time. The people here are gorgeous, but, interestingly enough, alot of the friends I've been making are Hispanics, which is different for me, but cool nonetheless. When i lived in Vegas I had a lot of Hispanic and Filipino friends. My internship is still going strong, I'm loving it and learning so much. I still am nowhere near where I want to be job-wise, but I'm trying to stay optimistic that something's gonna come up. Until then, I'm taking advantage of my free time and still trying to grind and form new relationships and whatnot.

Um, I've been thinking how nice it is to be around people who don't have so many hangups about their sexuality. Back in Florida and around my prior group of friends, it seems I was always dealing with the elephant in the room 80% of the time with those people. But, it's not that it was Florida and the people in L.A. are so much better, but I think subconsciously back then I was drawn to certain types of people and you get what you pay for. So, I'm noticing that my frame of mind is very different now. I'm at peace usually. Sometimes I do experience a heavy case of anxiety about my job and financial situation, but for the most part I'm cool. Just trying to stay upbeat about everything. I was twittering yesterday about how my old friends are quickly becoming distant memories. And I like that. I'm finally becoming okay with letting go. Big improvement for me.

So, I'm just living my life, I'm cautious but open. Guarded, but willing. Nervous, but ready.

I wrote this recently, it's unfinished, but whatever:

Whenever I decide to miss you
I think about what I gave up to love you
My love was an unexplored weakness
You exercised no caution

Whenever I make up my mind to miss you
I remember the almost impossibility it takes each time to love you
I remember the pieces of you that don't quite fit
Into what I call the new me

Whenever my mouth fixes itself to call you
For a second my heart skips a beat
I think about what we left on our holy ground
I wonder who has taken to washing your feet

Whenever I see your face on the ocean
Your image ingrained in the waves
You watched as I built my sandcastles
You quietly watched without warning
You liked to watch without warning

And I stop myself from remembering memories
Whenever I decide to miss you.

Okay, so I've officially been in L.A. for a week tomorrow. Today was the first day of my internship at a very reputable agency that represents screenwriters, film directors, and authors. The people behind movies like Crash, Indecent Proposal and much more are represented by this agency. I learned so much as an aspiring film director/writer just on my first day. So, it's going great!! But...I need a job, lol! I decided to only do my internship for no more than three months. After that, NO MORE INTERNSHIPS FOR ME! lol. I do have an interview this weekend and I've been sending out my resume everyday like a madman, so hopefully something will come up. In the meantime, I've been setting up some freelance photography work with some local models and some small graphic design jobs to help keep me afloat. I'm crashing with my bestie now, but soon I wanna get back out there in my own place and everything. But, nonetheless, I AM LOVING L.A.!!!!!!!!

P.S. Above and below are shots from the last photo shoot I did in Florida a day before I left for L.A. with this talented model. ; )

Just found out I got the internship interviewed for this morning!! It's
one I really wanted! Yay!!! So now gotta really impress them so they
can hire me, lol!

"Shoot for the stars and I'll settle for a cloud."

Well, I made it to L.A.!!!! It was a very smooth ride cross-country. I ended up staying overnight in New Orleans, San Antonio and Tucson. Now, I'm here. So, now the first step is to.....get a job!!! I did secure an internship last week that I was pretty excited about and starts Monday, but I've been thinking I'm gonna turn it down. I'm interviewing this Friday for another internship which is more up my alley professionally. I think I've decided I'm not gonna try to do two internships and a job. So, it's time to hit the pavement. Key word for today: resilience.

Well. I'm in the hotel right now in New Orleans. I just got into town a little while ago. So far, Trip Los Angeles is going well. I left Florida later than I planned, but for good reason. I spent yesterday and half of today in Tallahassee for a couple of last minute photo shoots. I had so much fun with my friends and got some great shots for the portfolio. I can't believe how much work I've gotten done in the past month.

Anyways, New Orleans. Seems like a cool place so far. I've seen lots of eye candy so far, lol. I'm wishing i had time to get into a little bit of trouble while I'm here (hint, hint) but I think I'll stay on my best behavior. The streets are laid out different than what I'm used to, but this seems like an interesting place to live. Speaking of the streets, they are in really bad condition. I kept wondering if it was because of the water damage from Hurricane Katrina. Anyway, I'm waiting for my food to arrive because I'm soooo hungry even though it's 2am here. In the morning I'm gonna do some exploring of the city and take some pictures before getting back on the road. The next major stop will be Houston. Peace out!

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