When imagination becomes more vivid than life....

I always thought I was so good at separating my reality from my fiction. But, tonight has been the most dreadfully eventful night I have had in years. Not only did me and my friends put ourselves in a very deadly situation, but I also had to reveal some damaging thoughts I was having about people I consider friends. I don't really know what to believe and I keep wondering why I care at all. Or why people care about what other people are doing. Am I that damn self-conscious? Am I that insecure? Why can't what I do know be enough? And between myself and my various group of friends there are so many secrets, lies, and speculations that I have a feeling that something is going to be the sacrifice: That being the one thing that I love more than anything: my show.

I'm feeling really crappy right now. And more alone than usual. I know I probably sound like a very depressed and tortured soul. I just keep drifting further and further away from that peace that I only dream about. Help me.

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