so i'm down to just a few days before i embark on my new life in l.a. as a writer/director/producer. i've been spending a lot of time lately just being silent. sometimes fear does that to you. and what am i afraid of? not starting over. i'm a military kid, so that isn't a concern of mine. my fears are over my career plans. mapping out how exactly i'm going to get my foot in the door.

i know what type of work i want to do. but there are a million writer/directors just like me, who all have the best of intentions just like me as to the type of films they would like to make. but do these films get made? no.

so, i'm brainstorming. writers spend a great deal of time writing what they consider to be their masterpieces and many times their scripts are just that, masterpieces. but they are overlooked because studios don't believe they'll make money. especially if the stories involve black characters. hollywood only wants to see certain characters depicted. and it's not as much racism as it is the bottom line. green. moolah. at this point in my career i have about twelve teleplays under my belt and a feature film script under my belt. however, the types of films that i write don't typically get made - especially the one i'm writing now. so, i feel like i need to start working on something that follows a formula. and that's where my fear kicks in. can i write something that isn't necessarily in my "edgy, indie, socially conscious, controversial" style? am i talented enough to write a seemingly surface blockbuster and weave in my real messages underneath? do i have the resolve to play the hollywood game when i'm so bad at being fake and superficial? will i be sent back here to florida with my tail between my legs because i couldn't cut it?

my fear.


stay true to yourself...that should be your fuel

In the unlikely event you don't "cut it", it'll be through no fault of your own.

That old battle between art and truth vs. $$$... there's no easy answer.

At least you're trying - how many people can really say that?

you made it this far...

ummm, i beg to differ. most of the shit that comes across my desk is just that... shit. there are not a bunch of masterpieces sitting around waiting to be made. undoubtedly, even one masterpiece lying around is a shame...

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