Man, what a weekend. I just got back home from a weekend in my old college town. It was my last trip there before my move to L.A. in two weeks. And it was interesting to say the least.

The weekend started out with my little brother's dog dying early Friday morning. He had him for 4 years and my brother is 19. It literally choked to death in his arms. We still don't know the cause of it, it happened so suddenly. The dog had been normal to me Thursday afternoon, even barking at the pizza delivery guy like usual, but when my brother came home from work that evening he noticed the dog acting very groggy. Not exhibiting any behavior that seemed cause for extreme concern, but he just seemed down; sad even. I tried to call the all-night vet, but the nearest one was an hour away off of the island. So we decided we would take him in the first thing the next morning. But, he didn't make it that long. My brother kept the dog in his room that night as usual. He noticed at some point blood around the dog's penile region, however. Around 3am, the dog got a slight burst on energy, "smiling" as my brother said, and jumping on his bed. Eventually it laid down. After a while though, he suddenly started to choke. My brother said the dog whined and tried to raise itself up on it's legs, while choking. My brother tried to massage the dog to help it throw up whatever it was trying to rid itself of, but the dog fell over on it's side and shortly after stopped breathing. When I heard my brother's cries, I realized what had happened. It was a very sad night in my house. We eventually took the dog to the all night vet an hour away anyway where I paid for it to be cremated.

The whole situation obviously left me kind of drained. But I was more concerned for my brother. If I was him, I would have been traumatized to watch my dog die in front of me and I can't do anything to save or help it. I felt so bad. My brother cried all night. He just cried all night long.

Later Friday afternoon, I left for my planned trip to Tallahassee. All of my friends knew I was coming and that it would be my last for a long while. The weekend was pretty enjoyable and I enjoyed spending time with the few friends I was able to salvage from the six years I spent in this town. Leaving was unexpectedly bittersweet. There was one disappointment: the one friend who was the closest to me didn't make time in his busy schedule to see me once all weekend. Not even a phone call or text. So, despite an otherwise enjoyable and relaxed weekend, I made the choice to finally leave behind someone who I once believed in and loved as a friend. He was someone who has allowed me to experience the most emotionally, psychologically, and mentally challenging friendships/partnerships I've ever experienced. It's like the Prince song says: "The beautiful ones: they hurt you every time". With everything we have fought over and for, he has decided to leave us on such a note to which I felt that this was the perfect time to leave him and us behind. This was the same person who made me feel guilty for wanting to move to California two years ago. Instead wanting me to stay behind with him because we were "a team". I think this was God's way of telling me that it was finally time I forced an "I" into our supposed "team". I now intend to do just that.

I believe I'm finally ready for the new start that awaits me. And I hope Los Angeles is ready; this time I've got my armour on.

**SIDENOTE: The picture above is one I took that may be included in my new book of photography. What do you think???


sorry to hear about your brother's dog...

glad you got a chance to see your friends before you started your journey...

I love the pic...

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