So, I'm back. Blogging's been on my mind for the past few days and now I feel like I've delayed it enough. Tonight I'm up late browsing the net. MJ and Farrah Fawcett both passed away yesterday. I always take notice of how the media works on days of major world events; I don't know why but it fascinates me the way news is disseminated and filtered to the public and the methods. It's a way to really appreciate (or be turned off) by how the media works and its power.

So, my life's been very...I don't know. I'm still interning at my company and still enjoy it very much. I even learned that it was okay for me to submit my own work to the management company to consider and review. It was recommended to me by my supervisor to write what is known in the TV industry as a "spec script". So, I ended up writing a spec on 90210. I feel pretty good about it and turned it in earlier this week. It took me ten days to write. I'm still awaiting feedback on it. I'm nervous. So many things could come from me having a strong spec script that my company believes in. It could be the deciding factor in moving from one aspect of the industry to the talent side of it; which of course is where I really want to be. I also introduced my drama series project and my supervisor has since requested to see the pilot episode script, which is a good sign. So, I'm really just a ball of nervous energy. I've never questioned my talent to this extent before now. And I wonder...and worry: am i good? can I write? do i have the potential to be one of the better writers? what if i wasn't trained well by my major in college? what if i suck?

even though you want to feel that you don't need others to validate you, to a certain extent you do. it's the only way you can move forward in this business - through other people's judgement of your work. that's nervewrecking when your options are slim.

i'm still on the job search. not many doors (well, actually none) are opening up for me on that front. but i'm trying to stay optimistic, cause, let's face it...what's the point in being depressed. i do that well. not fun. but next week's a new week, so hopefully it'll bring some good news.

i have been doing a lot of dating lately. and even been more sexually active than i've been, really in years. without going into details, let's just say i've enjoyed myself. however, i still haven't met anyone promising. so, i've put my L.A. dating life on the backburner while i put my full energy on my fledgling career and obtaining gainful employment.

what else? i did a photo shoot yesterday with a great model. check out a shot above. a model from senegal, africa. overall i'm doing well. my uncle from pennsylvania is coming to visit me in l.a. in a few days if all goes according to plan. i really didn't realize how thirsty i was to see a familial face. i really miss my mom and my little brother. especially so close to Independence day...

hmm...i guess i'm not feeling as introspective or creative tonight, so i apologize if this post is kind of boring. i'm really trying to switch up my photography style and go for a more "film" look. i don't know. anyway, until the muse visits me again...

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