It bothers me that my father who has been a part of my life all my life prefers to keep in touch with my mother, his ex-wife, than he does his three sons. My father lives in Las Vegas and has for several years. He doesn't speak to my older brother who lives in the same city. I haven't talked to my father too many times since he suffered his brain aneurysm late 2007.

I have told my mother many times that by her keeping up communication with my father she is doing nothing but endorsing the fact that he is a bad father. She just says, "you guys are all grown. What can I do?" That response makes me even angrier. He called her for her birthday. He didn't call me for mine two months ago.

I have a feeling that my father won't deem me worthy until after I graduate college. I think I am a failure to him now. Even though he has a master's degree from UNLV but his most recent job before his aneurysm was as a taxi driver.

After looking up to my Dad my whole life, I think of him now as the biggest loser I've ever known.

Or is it me???


Instead of expecting your mother to treat your father differently, you might consider honoring their relationship and trying to directly articulate your thoughts to your father. Let him know how his behavior is impacting you. If you want to have a relationship with him, you might have to initiate it. I don't think your father is a loser; neither do I think you are one.

your dad like so many (mine included) seems to forget or think that they don't need to take up their roles as men and mentor their offspring, but sometimes you have to reach out to those that are closed off to you...

Have you try reaching out to him? My father stopped being in my life since I was 8 or so and I've forgiven him. The last time I saw him was at my grandmother's funeral and that was back in late 04' and before that was when I was 7 or so. He made so many lots of promises to my sister and I that he didn't keep. I use to always feel some type of way but what I did best was let go and let God deal.

i can relate to this situation in some ways. i hadn't seen or heard from my father since i was 13. but, then i decided to contact him last year (at the age of 25). i came to realize that as a woman, i had to make some effort to get to know him. things are not all peaches and cream, but i at least know my father. so, maybe you should reach out to him and tell him how you feel.

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