First of all please go and find the song "Trust" by Keyshia Cole. I believe it's on her new CD and it is playing in my head right now and has been all day. It's a nice song. There's even an alternate version with Monica.

Anyway, it's 3:51am and I've been awakened by a text message. My TV is on playing a Roseanne DVD (which is one of the funniest TV series ever, by the way).

Ummm...what's on my mind...???

Well, i guess the main thing is worry. I've been making some personnel changes in my life and I've been praying for the strength to consistent in what I know I need for my life. And, I've been feeling pretty strong lately.

But, do you have people in your life that you're just weak for? It's a really annoying situation. When you try to do your best to remain steadfast, all of that can go out the window due to, I guess, charm of a certain individual(s).


I definitely think this reveals a weakness in my self-esteem. I also feel it's a trait I inherited from both of my parents, who despite their rocky relationship always found it hard to walk away from each other, even when they both knew better.

Why do we hurt ourselves in this way? Why do we sit around waiting for someone to change when you know good and damn well, they have no desire to?

I try to remember a saying:

It's better to leave than to be left.

And I'm scared of being pulled back into someone. Maybe I'll feel differently in the morning. Pray for me.


You will... when you reach your breaking point and taken all you can take, walking away isnt hard at all. When you keep your best interest in the forefront of your mind. Love doesnt hurt. Let that pain be your indicator that something has to change.

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